Being owned by a Dachsund..... (The Daxie chronicles #1)



So my little crazy sausage dog is almost eight months old and in those eight months I thought would share what I’ve learnt about these crazy little wieners.


1. Their paws smell like wotsits. Actual cheesy treats of dreams.

Incredible.


2. They like to sleep. And even better, they like to sleep under covers with YOU. Negatives - when the cold nose hits the back of your leg at 3am. Positives - the feeling of them being a hot water bottle at 5am and you want to cuddle them forever.


3. They will eat ANYTHING. So far mine has eaten - a remote control, several toys, numerous slippers, half my husbands flip flop (he was fuming!) a few Lego pieces and most of the post that gets through our letterbox.


4. They are an EXCELLENT excuse for home schooling. Ours ate my sons actual homework. We wrote a poem about it in apology. He won housepoints for the poem. Win win.


5. The rear view of a Daxie walking is something else. Call it camp, call it a wiggle, I call it the sausage strut.


6. They have NO PERSONAL SPACE WHATSOEVER. Maybe they want to give you a kiss? They will. They want to lick your feet? Straight in there. A sniff of the armpit? No f&&ks given.


7. They’re not a fan of toilet training. Or rather, perhaps mine isn’t. He doesn’t do outside except strictly on his terms. So you take him for a walk because then it’ll be fine! No!!!!!!! He’ll hold it in because it’s so much more fun peeing on the kitchen floor when he gets home!


8. They like to hump. Or, rather, mine does. I had to send his “favourite” toy away (Lamby - those who know, know)because it was getting a bit graphic and it forced me to have to talk through the facts of life sooner than I strictly needed to with my son.


9. You don’t need to spend a fortune in treats. We bought an antler thing and then bought a whole load of Christmassy dog treats. All those are long gone and possibly buried in the garden, the antler is still going strong and he LOVES it! The noise of him eating it is irritating at best but......


10. They are like no other dog I’ve ever had. I had a Shetland sheepdog when I was growing up. Cute, loved to chew and chased toys but did his own thing. As people may know from reading this blog, we also have a beautiful mini schnauzer, our original fur baby. She loves a game of throw the ball, she’ll bring it back a few times and she will tell you when she’s done thank you very much.


The Daxie? Ball? MINE! I’ll chase after it, it’s mine, I’ll bring it back but then I want to love you. Forever. Can you just cuddle me please for being so clever? In fact can I just chew at it on your foot?


I want a cuddle, I’ll just crawl on your head and nuzzle into your face. Better still, oh wait, I know exactly what you’ll like, my lil old Daxie nose in YOUR EAR! Yaaaaasss, I know you love that. Oh wait, you don’t? Weirdo? I’ll just get under the blanket then and lick your legs. At 3am. 😂💕

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